Sick of holding it together!

Well friends I am so over acting like the world is some happy little place! I dont know why I have waited till now to loose it but, well I have. And maybe it is the fact that I was suppose to be getting a nursery together and bring home my baby in 2 weeks.

I never thought it would ever be this hard. The one thing that I have always wanted got taken away from me. It really hurts..... I dont even know what to say............ I need help!  Wanting to try again but afraid for it to happen again